Sunday, June 18, 2017

Decreasing and Increasing

"Minimal" - it is a word I have spent much time thinking about over the last 6 years or so.  At some point in my life, I realized that my life was full - but not in a good way.  My life was full of noise, and stuff, and obligations, and expectations put upon me by others (with my permission).  It was also when I realized that despite all of that,  I felt completely empty.  

It has been a 6 year journey since my divorce to get to a point where I understand where I want to be, and what is worth spending my most valued possession - my time - on.

Finally, I find myself in the last phase of this part of my journey, downsizing my life so that everything I own (except for my vehicle) fits into the smallest space possible.  Through this slow purging of "stuff", I now feel lighter than I can ever remember feeling since I was a kid living in my parents' home.  

Besides cleaning out the physical clutter, I have cleaned out quite a bit of emotional clutter as well.  I have worked hard for the last years to minimize the impact others are allowed to have on my sense of well being.  Slowly, I am able to recognize when someone is being toxic, and rather than soaking in their venom, I realize that their ugliness reflects on them, not me, and I move on.  I have no control over anyone else's happiness, and I have no responsibility for it.  I never want to be the cause of someone else's grief, but I also can not be the cure for it.

So, as I am doing the final de-clutter, in anticipation of moving next week into a small cottage near downtown (in the PERFECT area for running directly from home), I have boiled it all down to this:  If it doesn't have REAL meaning, or if it is not an essential item, it is not coming along.  

I have done the same thing with my social media feeds.  Anyone who is consistently negative has been hidden.  I don't want to unfriend people - I still like them and want to be friends with them, but I will keep that exposure to once in a while when we are face to face.  If I get to the point that someone's social media posts are affecting the way I feel about them, when I know I like them in our face to face contact, I simply hide their posts. My newsfeed is decidedly upbeat now, except for the occasional grump when someone is having a bad day - totally acceptable.  

Years ago, when I would think about what I "wanted", the list had many objects on it.  Now, when I list the things I want out of life, very few if any are things that can be bought.  I still have a ton of work to do, but I am on the right path, and hopefully that path leads through the woods.  And maybe to a waterfall or two.




Happy Running, Y'all! 
Edie